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(I am using the term “the other woman” as a literary convenience because statistics show that married men have affairs more frequently than do married women.
However, most of the following also applies to men who find themselves in this position.) Rona Subotnik illuminates a list of paradoxical realities that you may find yourself living with as the other woman.
You maintain the sense of safety by trying not to think about these realities.
Self-righteous, yet guilty You tell yourself you deserve to be happy, that you are making him happy.
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"I don't want more people to have to say, 'Me too, me too, me too.' I want it to stop.""It's really a prevention message, and that's what we're really about," Randy Randolph said.However, as time goes by he becomes one of the few people you can be intimate with because you cannot share what is most important for you in your life with most others.Friends and family sense you are closed off in some way, and can become confused and discouraged about your relationship with them.Here is my version of her findings: Treasured, but used Being in love gives you the feeling that you are precious and treasured by him, but you cannot help but wonder…if it wasn’t for the sex, would he still want to be with me?If you didn’t make it so easy and perfect when he is with you, by not complaining and making sure you look absolutely gorgeous, by having the house spotless…if you were just your ordinary every day self, the way his wife is, would he still treasure you?