Meeting dating and maintaining relationships

It can then provide a starting place for positive change.Men and their partners have identified a number of ways that the experience of childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault has impacted on them and their relationships.The behaviours listed above might have developed as a direct result of being sexually abused, or in an effort to manage the trauma.They should not be seen as evidence of a damaged person.Some of those things took the edge off things for awhile and that’s probably why I kept doing them.” It is really important to avoid seeing everything that happens in a relationship through the prism of sexual assault. Couple relationships often involve two people muddling their way through, negotiating and sorting things out, trying to ultimately build satisfying and supportive lives.

Some behaviours that may have worked for a while or in particular circumstances can overstay their welcome.Sometimes, it is only when things aren’t playing out the way that you hoped for that you identify what you most value and appreciate about relationships and what you want from a partner.This then provides an opportunity to talk and confirm there is a shared vision that you can both work towards. I always thought that if he loved me enough he would stop doing those things – now I can see that it was his way of switching off and although I still don’t like it and want him to change, at least I can see it for what it is” A man’s, and possibly even your own, sense of shame around what happened, the effects, and fear of other people’s reactions or judgments.It is worth encouraging him to access support that helps him develop more life-affirming patterns and ways of dealing with stress and distress.Also, try to make sure that are properly supported, informed about ways of looking after yourself, and dealing with the impact of sexual abuse.

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