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"You guys look under 45," the guy says with a smile.After trying to decide if I should say thank you or glare, I realize that the comment is meant to be neither complimentary nor insulting.The woman is an impresario of the spanking world; she carefully screens every party guest (women are approved through e-mail while men must pass muster over the phone), arranges annual spanking events in Atlantic City that draw people from as far away as California and even Europe, and is in the process of expanding her current website with message boards, chat rooms, videos and lists of all the spanking parties going on around the world.I soon find myself in a conversation with Gary, a 47-year-old switch who's an actor and sometime caterer.They didn't have anywhere to go until the '80s, when clubs like Hellfire, the Vault and Paddles opened in New York (of those, Paddles is the only one still standing).While the spanking network Shadow Lane launched in California in 1986, a woman named Margaret Davis (sometimes known as Ms.There are a few younger people: I spy a 20-something girl mulling her options by the raffle table and another one who could be even younger munching on Swedish fish next to a table piled high with snacks. But this isn't any old mixer, as evidenced by the name tags, which reveal information far more relevant than just names: red tags are for bottoms, blue tags are for tops, and yellow tags are for those who switch between the two.The man who determined we're under 45 is a top and is also probably the most handsome man in the room -- though, it should be noted, this is not a group that's going to be confused with the one lining up for fashion week at Bryant Park.
Logic would dictate that the need is Freudian: that spankos were spanked as children and eroticized that abuse.There doesn't appear to be a sign of plastic surgery or a gym-sculpted body in sight -- just the sort of normal-looking folks you might see at the DMV or an airport."In a world where everyone is obsessed with being skinny," someone tells me later, "this is one place where people want big butts over cute little ones." It seems, in fact, that there's only one thing to be ashamed of in this environment, and that's being someone without a kink -- a vanilla."I asked her to direct one of my plays and she did an amazing job," Jessica had told me."It was about a boss and secretary and she really pulled out the power dynamic." Let's just say that Jessica knew how to pick directors, since 36-year-old Jules is something of an expert on power play: Not only has she been throwing these over the knee (OTK) spanking parties for the past three years but she's also been in a daddy-daughter relationship for the past two.