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Be honest, ASSHOLE, just this once: Is the destruction of your wife a bug or is it a feature? Because cheating on this scale isn't about succumbing to temptation or reacting to neglect.

And while you claim that each of these women pursued you despite knowing you were in an exclusive relationship, it doesn't sound like you ran from any of them. " as if the universe were conspiring against you somehow. If you'd sought out a partner who wanted an open relationship—a wide-open one—you could have had concurrent, committed, nonexclusive relationships and avoided being "a liar, a cheat, a user," etc.

And you can find a guy who wants an open and egalitarian relationship, which is what you deserve.

If you're confused of your feelings, this Love Tester can help you out!

Which means it's both ultimatum and bluff-calling time.

So long as your husband thinks he can dictate terms by pointing to his triggers and his trauma, GMHC, he has every incentive to continue being triggered and traumatized.

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