Dating single dads with kids
This came out of the blue from my seven-year-old daughter Isabella – but then, little about our recent family life had been expected.
My children lost their mother, Carolina, to breast cancer in June 2013. When she was terminally ill, we left our house, jobs and schools and moved back to the UK from abroad.
The loss of the family unit, sense of abandonment, complications with how the kids deal with the situation – there was plenty of common ground.
I met several single mothers, some of whom became friends, others brief, unsuccessful relationships, and I began to feel a bit like Hugh Grant in the film About a Boy – only I hadn't invented my children.
For some women, the discovery of my widowed status was clearly a deal breaker; the communication dried up, and I could understand why.
After all, it's a very crowded dating market out there – and grief is a long way from romance.
Surely only sociopaths don't have emotional baggage? I began to see patterns – for women without kids, my situation was often too much to handle.It was also impossible for me to resist thinking ahead – would they get on with my children?And do I really want any more children, considering how a baby could impact on my children's world, which has already been turned upside down?If the complexity of my situation put doubts in my own mind, no wonder it was ringing alarm bells among the women I was chatting with online.Fellow single parents were those I seemed to have most in common with, because divorce and separation involve a kind of grieving process.