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Hoping for some moral support, I called my best friend.He knew that I didn’t take other people’s opinions on my love life very seriously, but given my vulnerable state, he saw his chance and grabbed it to drive home one key point: “Whatever you do, do not—under any circumstance—go home with him.” This wasn’t because he thought I was going out was a serial killer, nor did he even know whether my date was the sleepover type.But even two years of cohabitation later, some of my friends still write off the beginning of my relationship as a fluke.In other words, given normal circumstances and normal people (i.e.Prior to my first date with my now-boyfriend, I almost threw up on the train ride to dinner.It wasn’t the first time a guy has made me nervous, but it was definitely the first time a guy made me nauseous.That’s a definite majority, but asking such a question requires making all kinds of assumptions: that the first date necessarily costs money, that the couple in this instance is a man and a woman, that this holds true no matter who did the asking out, and that the man is financially equipped to be paying for two.Rachel Kramer Bussel, The “Lusty Lady”, once wrote: “It’s also circumstantial; if I know my date makes three times more than me and he doesn’t even offer to pay, I won’t be amused.” I think it could make sense to divvy up expenses depending on each person’s means rather than gender, but regardless, it takes two to tango.
While hitting the sack right off the bat might not be right for everyone, I’m proof that it’s not romantic kryptonite.
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When it comes to first dates—situations in which all kinds of rules govern each party’s behavior—my unorthodox conduct has confounded, turned off, or downright offended my unlucky dining companions.
But even though I boast a colorful romantic history, my friends have also acknowledged that the type of person who would make me happiest is someone who wants to be with the real me and not the more socially acceptable version of myself.