Dating a girl on the rebound

Think of it like subletting your vagina: Since the previous dick moved out so suddenly, you have no choice but to fill it with a random Craigslist deep house DJ, because you’re too broke(n) to leave it unoccupied until a proper replacement comes along.

Type two is what I call the “rampage rebound,” which is when you basically run as far as you can in the opposite direction of “serious” and just have sex with anything nearby and remotely sentient. This is straight Airbnb—and you vet potential visitors in the same way.

Maria wasn’t discouraged: A week later at a family party, she ran into a guy she used to babysit when he was 12, who had since grown into a 23-year-old (with abs).

The technical term for this is “fucking through your feelings.” My friend Maria is an expert.I was like, ‘Wait, I’m too basic for this.’ I was looking to have a fun sexual adventure, but this felt too contrived. I was like, ‘Ow, dude, this isn’t the olympics.’ ”Often, a rebound is about proving to ourselves that we’re not ugly and boring—that we’re still fun, and that people still want to have sex with us.But in the process of reminding ourselves of all of this, sometimes we end up overcompensating.And when I was with my ‘rebounds’ I forgot about my ex completely, which is a big deal.”The point is, we can all give ourselves a break for being sexually psychotic, post-breakup. Like, if I’m going to jump out of a burning building, I’d always prefer to land on an air mattress (with abs)—I’ll still probably end up crippled, but it will hurt a little less.It probably won’t surprise you that my last rebound and I didn’t work out.

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